My Love, Is It Worth This?
by JustWantsToFly
Summary: Rosalie's Story. Rosalie, Alice, and Bella are normal high school girls with the greatest guys. Then they get pregnant. Their struggles as expecting teenage mothers and the decisions they are forced to make.


**The last Chapter One of this series! Rosalie's part, obviously, because Alice's and Bella's are already up.**

**Now, I have to warn you, Rosalie's is going to be the more serious part of this series. She's gone through a lot of trauma that Alice and Bella haven't, and throughout this series, she's going to have to face all that and deal with it.**

**You guys obviously have no idea what I'm talking about now, but, if Bella and Alice's parts don't turn out to be quite M, Rosalie's definitely will, eventually, so stay tuned for that.**

**Well, all of them kind of deal with the same thing, like so you'll most likely find out everything one way or another, but I'm just saying that this part of the series is going to have a lot more of her serious fears and feelings, not just what Bella and Alice and everyone else sees on the outside (it's very easy to put up a mask, believe me). **

**So, here you go, Chapter One! Hope y'all enjoy, and remember to review!!**

A sunny day. The sun was out. I registered that fact. But later on I wouldn't remember much. I wouldn't remember exactly what Jasper would say to Alice. I wouldn't remember how Bella's and Alice's faces looked when I threw my little temper tantrum. And I wouldn't remember why exactly I fell in Emmett's arms when I did, or what my exact frame of mind was.

I would always just remember the chain of events leading up to this day.

Those events would stick with me for the rest of my life. I would remember them every morning before I woke up for a long while, and every night as I lie awake and shed my tears for the same amount of time. I would cause so many people hurt, and cause so many tears, so much blood, and sweat, and time to be shed-all because so many people cared about me who shouldn't.

That day, I was thinking about how none of those people who care about me should. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve to live. I didn't deserve to have Alice and Bella sit with me in the little tiny bathroom as I waited. Of course, they were waiting for the same reason, but to me, it didn't matter. They could have waited together, or with cleaner, more deserving people. So unlike me.

As I was thinking, my eyes kept straying to the pristinely clean (thanks to Esme, Alice's mother) white counter, which held three white plastic sticks.

I wanted to say something-I don't know exactly what-but something, just to break the silence. But that was obviously not going to be happening-my tongue felt like lead in my mouth, which felt of cotton.

A knock. I would remember a knock.

Jasper's voice. "Are you guys alright?"

_No! _I felt like shouting. _I sure as hell am NOT alright!_

But it was Alice who said, "We're fine, Jasper. It's just…girl stuff."

Oh, tiny little Alice. I tried to imagine tiny little pixie-like Alice with a huge baby bump. Tiny Alice pushing a huge baby out of her teeny body.

I couldn't.

Jasper was gone by this point. Silence again.

"You ready?" Bella asked.

This was it. The moment of truth.

I breathed in. "Which one's mine?"

Alice picked hers up. "This one's mine. I'm sure of it. Rose, you put yours over here, remember?"

I had to give credit to Alice; she was the only person I knew who could probably form coherent sentences at a time like this.

So I reached out and picked mine up.

And so did Bella.

And they all clattered to the ground. The sticks, and all of us down with them.

A bubble of panic rose inside me. I fought it down. It clawed away at me, and I punched it, screamed at it.

I guess nobody noticed my internal battle. They were both staring at the floor.

"It could be a false positive," Bella said.

"Yes." Alice's tone was monotonous and robotic.

Yes, a false positive. That's what it was. There was no way I could be pregnant from that…from that…from that monster!

"Round Two." I tossed Alice and Bella new tests, taking one for myself.

The home test method wasn't always reliable anyway.

* * *

So the home test method wasn't always reliable.

But it wasn't always wrong either.

All fifteen tests we took said we were pregnant. We would have tried again, but we ran out of money to buy tests with.

I held a liter bottle of Mountain Dew in my hands, tracing the opening with my finger.

"So we're pregnant." Bella's words suddenly made everything real.

Without warning, my tears sprang over my eyelids, dribbled down my face. I let out a moan of pain and sobbed. And sobbed. And sobbed.

The tears rushed down, warm and salty, a few running through my lips. It reminded me of the beach where we had been just two months ago, when we thought nothing of this. The thought made me cry harder.

"Rosalie, it's-"

When Bella started talking, I suddenly wanted to smack her. I wanted to knock her out right there on that hard, tile bathroom floor. Because I knew what she was going to say.

"No, do not say it's okay, Bella. Because it most certainly is not." I continued to cry, to sob uncontrollably.

Bella muttered something rushed, something that sounded a lot like "Alice, get Emmett."

The tears came over; so many tears, it was as if this was the first time I had ever cried. They spilled over and over and over, but I didn't bother grabbing a towel to wipe them up. If I really was pregnant, what did it matter anymore?

"No, no, oh God, no. I can't tell him. I can't tell him. I have to go, have to leave." I wiped the tears away so I could see again, and stood up, making my way towards the door.

"Rosalie, don't leave." Desperation was in Bella's eyes, all over her face.

"I have to…have go…"

"No." Alice's voice was tired, weak.

"Yes, Alice. I can't face him like this!"

The bubble of panic I had successfully kept down now came bursting through. The panic washed through my every pore, through my mouth as I let out another cry of agony.

I picked up a bar of soap and threw it across the room. It hit the wall with a thud and fell to the ground, cracking in two. It increased my hysterical feeling. I threw a bottle of shampoo, then a hairbrush. They hit the wall, and the ground. I threw objects left and right. Combs, hair conditioner, even a box of band aids. Each one I threw made me feel more wild, less like a teenage girl, more like a savage. How could I ever be a teenage girl again after this?

"Rosalie? Alice? Bella?" Emmet.

Oh, shitbuckets. Fucking shitbuckets.

I didn't know what to do, so I shrieked again and threw something else. The hairdryer landed in the toilet.

The door banged open. Emmett rushed in.

"Rosalie?"

I saw his eyes sweep the room, take in the destruction I had done.

Not only in the bathroom, I realized. I'd destroyed everything.

_He _was right. It was my fault. All…my…fault…

"No, no, Emmett, you can't, go away, no, no, no." I didn't want to ruin his life, too. But I collapsed into his arms anyway.

"What's the matter with her? Is she okay?" Emmett looked scared.

And then I knew. He would find out. Alice would tell him. Or Bella. He would hate me, tell me it was my fault, beat me, maybe like what happened _that night._

Alice and Bella shared a look I almost missed.

And Alice ruined our horrible dirty secret. My horrible dirty secret. One of them, anyway.

"She's pregnant, Emmett. We all are."

**Hope that wasn't too horrible.**

**I want y'all to understand, I've never been through what Rosalie has, hopefully nobody has (you'll understand later) so I just kind of have to imagine and put myself in her shoes for a little while.**

**And I realized…wow. It's horrible to feel even a fraction of what she must be feeling.**

**I imagine way too well.**

**So, review, tell me what you thought! Suggestions welcome, BEGGED FOR, in fact.**

**I NEED to know what you liked, what you didn't, what I should change-SPECIFICS PLEASE!!**


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